This crazy world..

YES! I have finally finished...

2008-07-08T14:29:05Z

YES! I have finally finished the book that I have been reading for the past century!! I read twelve chapters of another one yesterday, a record for me. I would highly recommend it. 'Thanks For The Memories' - Cecelia Ahern.

Take Care,

Becky x

Thanks for the Memories

Cecelia Ahern

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QotD: Ouch, That Hurt!

2008-07-08T14:23:43Z

Have you ever broken a bone? If not, what's the worst injury you've sustained?

I broke my left arm when I was 3 from falling down the stairs. I can't remember it though.

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Really Random.

2008-07-03T17:11:29Z

I love the idea of having a blog but my posts never really work, they just sound like I'm moaning.

I am sitting at my laptop by the table in my living room. I'm half playing the playstation and half surfing the web. My friends are messaging me trying to make arrangements for this weekend and I'm getting all fidgety. In the room next door I can hear my brother on the Xbox (we're a sociable family really) and my mum is closing cupboards and cooking in the kitchen, preparing our tea. It being a weekday my dad is out at work in the next city about 50 miles away. To be honest, as much as I love the summer holidays and not having any "work to do", I hate just sitting not doing anything. I hate the relaxing part. With my anxiety issues and young mind I always need to be doing something to distract me. I have to read an entire book this summer for my english class, write a review of a play in the local theatre for the newspaper and among that I have a two week holiday to Switzerland, show rehearsals and numerous running competitions.

I've been watching some really random programmes on the TV such as 'This Model Life' and 'The Daily 10' etc. I hate how much evil we are exposed to in the world. Why is this? No wonder i'm writing depressing posts if all i'm surrounded by is confusion. I suppose that's life really. We have to work hard to get as much of that evil and confusion out of our lives as possible. After all, none of us come out of this thing alive. I know that happiness comes from inside you, no matter what your circumstance, background or experience. It just takes a few deep breaths and a couple of smiles to release it. Just start laughing for no reason and then suddenly, voila! you're a happy camper!

Anyway, I have a game to play, a book to read, a turtle to water (?) and some food to eat!

Take care.

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A Place In My Heart

2008-07-02T19:15:59Z

Dear .....

I want to thank you for teaching me that love is something you carry with you wherever you go and that no matter how much I think I'm alone, I'm never alone. I want you to know that I love your smile and the way you talk about your plans and dreams is so inspiring. You made me smile for no reason and I have always just been so captivated by your eyes. That one moment when you spoke to me is a moment I will carry with me, even if we never meet again, it meant so much. I hope you help somebody every chance you get. Just knowing you is an honor. If sometime later on in life, I am confronted with your smile, that would be the end of life as I know it. I hope that you are always smiling wherever you go and know that I will always be here, if you ever need me.

I know you will never read this but for what it's worth, you will always have a place in my heart.

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QotD: Smiley Face

2008-06-25T21:13:44Z

What's making you smile today?

My dad and his sense of humor and knowing that the summer holidays is only a day away!

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Take Your Time

2008-06-11T17:22:40Z

I was in the middle of writing my latest depressing "I want to change" post when this song came on that completely made me feel better. If you're quite a soulful person and you love those songs that are inspiring then listen to this.

Some background info on the artist for those who haven't heard of him. Simon Webbe was in a very popular boyband called 'Blue' who broke up a while ago. They weren't really about 'looking good' but more about the music they made. Anyway, the band broke up and all 4 members took up different things, one is a presenter and singer, two became singers and the other one just does the odd TV appearance.

Just close your eyes and listen to the lyrics, it will probably make you feel so much more determined in life.

Let me know what you think.

Simon Webbe - Take Your Time

11 Take Your Time 1

Simon Webbe

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Narrowing Options

2008-05-25T21:44:18Z

I've been having a bit of trouble so I thought I'd come to my fellow Voxers for a bit of advice.

Basically, when I was 13 I decided I was going to work in the television industry. Not in front of the camera, but behind it, creating it all and just entertaining the nation. But, I think I've kind of narrowed my options a bit and because of that I feel that I've been completely put off it. I know it's a lot harder than I first expected, I can deal with that, it's just everyone is expecting me to do really well. I don't think I have very good ideas and i'm not really a natural at it! The thing that has kept me going and made me apply for all those jobs at TV and Film companies is the feeling that I had two years ago. I was so passionate about it and really dedicated but recently that feeling has started to fade and I'm doubting whether I should carry on following what was my ambition! I can't see myself doing anything else as I've had a lot of my future planned out, based around this career path. Also, I do athletics and dancing on the side. My biggest dream has always been to be a singer and just blow people away but I can't sing that well.

There's always someone with better ideas than me and I feel that I've been really lucky having other people with good ideas but in the future the case might come along where I have to do it on my own and that is where I could fall. I'm only 15, as my mum said, and I have so many opportunities ahead of me but i think that if you know what you want to do then it's best to start right now.

Should I give up on this dream and find something that I am passionate about all the time or is this just a phase that i'm going through and i should keep going no matter what? A they say, a flame that was once lit, never dies.

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QotD: Life-Changing Event

2008-05-25T21:06:32Z

What event changed your life for the better?
Submitted by Kasey.

Falling out with who were my best friends at the time. They'd shown me and given me so much but the trust in each other just wasn't there and I had to walk away. At first I thought i'd regret it but now, seeing how they've ended up, I think I did the right thing. It's made me a little wiser and that much stronger. Those girls tried to change me and I was able to notice that and just say "enough is enough".

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Childhood Personalities

2008-05-22T23:17:15Z

Gone are the days where chatting online was a big deal, when everyone was your friend, when nothing bothered you and not being yourself was unheard of. In my opinion, there are too many bad people in this world. When I was younger, I was so naive and content that it seemed life was good and I had everything under control. As I grew older, wiser and more mature, I started to learn that the world wasn't what it had seemed for all those years but something much scarier and darker. Don't get me wrong, there are many moments in life that are fulfilling and powerful. There are also other times that i'm sure we could all just live without. Those are the moments that are supposed to make us stronger. The moments in life that build us up and prepare us for the bumpy road that lies ahead. I must admit, there are some regrets I do have in life, things I would change if given a second chance. But, all in all, those moments have brought me here. I'm still alive, i'm healthy, I still have my family and the majority of the same friends i've had the past 4 years (plus and minus a few!) and I still have the same dreams. Mind you all this thinking has got me caught up in the "Am I heading down the right road?" ritual. How do I know what I want is what I really want and not what I think I want? Life is too short to let that lesson get away. That's another thing worth mentioning, life's lessons. I am able to accept most of what life throws at me as my attitude is usually "I deserve it!" but I can't learn from other people. I have to learn the lesson myself, make it seem real.

Recently, my childhood has been making its way back to me, piece by piece. I have started to do things that I haven't done in years - write stories, film things, watch disney movies etc. There have been little moments where I've thought "I haven't done/seen/said this in years!". But, the downside is that there was a period in my childhood where I was a bully. I had like only two friends and not many people liked me. At the time i didn't mind it. I didn't have much respect and I took my time growing up. All that has caught up on me and I feel like I slipping back into that person I was 6 years ago after spending all that time fighting against her. A lot of people still remember those days and expect me to have at least some similar traits or habits. But, if anyone asks me what the biggest challenge in my life has been it would be growing out of that person I was 6 years ago.

I have always had a caring heart. I hated seeing people cry or hurt and even though I was a bully I'd always feel really guilty. If anyone was upset I'd always go straight over to them and try to cheer them up. I still have it but not as strongly as it used to be. Even if I didn't like the person very much, I'd still try everything I could to see a smile on their face. I wish I could be that person I was when I was much much younger, before the bullying, before the teenage years. The girl who always had a smile on her face, who wanted to be everyone's friend, who everyone wanted to be friends with. I don't know what it was that took me away from that. I can't blame myself as something would've caused me to think and act differently. Perhaps losing a best friend when I was 7 had something to do with it. Perhaps it was the people I was around, the way I interpreted things or perhaps it was inevitable and god wanted me to be an idiot!

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Comfortable.

2008-05-01T16:20:06Z

Ok, that's enough of the depressing posts. I'm sorry guys! If I start sounded depressed again, just let me know! Deary me!

We all have our ups and downs and if i just dwell on the bad times then the good things in my life will never become clear. Time for a new me and a new outlook on my life.

I am going to be more open-minded, more positive and much more caring. I will listen to people, make decisions on what my heart is telling me and I won't purposely change someone's opinion on something just because I think differently! I need to come out of my shell. I mean really need to!

I had my first ever exam today. Half of it went really well and the other half wasn't too great - but I was expecting that. I felt so grown-up sitting in that exam hall, surrounded by faces that i'd seen everyday for the past 4 years (11 for some!) and feeling so independent. I had been through almost everything with these people. Not many of them knew me, in fact half of them probably couldn't even tell you what colour of eyes I have! But I felt comfortable there, knowing that they were all experiencing similar things.

My philosophy teacher made a really good point the other day. He said "I don't see the world the way you do, neither does the person to your left or the one on your right. The things that you think about, they will never understand. The way this whole classroom is laid out politically (referring to who was sitting where), they don't see."

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